Calendar name change proposal

The setup of the calendar has served us well for 500 years or so. The way it is now, with seven days, 12 months of 30 and 31 days, with February having a leap year day every four years (most of the time), we’ll keep in sync with the Sun and the seasons for many thousands of years.

However, the names of weekdays and months clearly have pagan origins. Three months are actually named after – gasp! – Roman emperors.

We can easily remedy this dreadful situation by using Biblical names. The seventh day is obviously the Lord’s day, so we just need to change the spelling: Sonday. (I’ll let the Seventh Day Adventists and others argue about which day is really Sonday.)

For the other days, we can begin with the two great apostles, Peter (day 1) and Paul (day 2). That leaves four – how about the four evangelists?

Months are just as easy. Twelve months, twelve apostles. The only problem is that there were two Jameses: the son of Zebedee and the son of Alphaeus. We could use “Zebedeeson” and “Alphaeusson”, but that seems a bit cumbersome. We could use “James 1” or “James 2”, but that’s not satisfactory either. The simplest solution is to use “James” for both, calling the first “Spring James” and the second “Fall James”.

The new names are then

Days
1 Peterday
2 Paulday
3 Matthewday
4 Markday
5 Lukeday
6 Johnday
7 Sonday

Months
1 Peter
2 John
3 Spring James
4 Andrew
5 Philip
6 Thomas
7 Bartholomew
8 Matthew
9 Fall James
10 Simon
11 Thaddeus
12 Matthias

In conversation, the daynames would most likely be shortened, dropping off the ending “day”, so we’d speak of the days as “Peter”, “Paul”, &c. This could cause some confusion, because three names are in both lists. I think that the meaning could be taken from context.

Using this system, a few dates would be

Matthewday the 23rd of Spring James
Sonday the 3rd of Bartholomew
Paul the 1st of Thaddeus
Peter the 11th of Peter (after a while this wouldn’t be a problem)
Matthew the 6th of John.

Daylight savings time began this year (2012 A.D.) on Sonday the 11th of Spring James.

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